Coaching to support expatriation

Coaching to support expatriation

Expatriation. Here is a word that makes you dream. Fantasy or reality, it is always an adventure that involving strong emotions. A phase of change which induces many others, which Coaching can support.

Let’s develop …

Expatriation = leaving your comfort zone

To emigrate is first of all to go somewhere else. Go and therefore leave your comfort zone, “your bubble” (family, friends, colleagues, accommodation, environment …) to rebuild everything in a new culture, often another language.

This departure is a consented or suffered uprooting. If this departure takes place as a couple or as a family, it may be agreed to by some and suffered by others, further weakening what remains of stability.

In short, it’s a risk-taking. A beautiful and exciting risk taking most often, but requiring to be (or to learn to be) flexible, adaptable, strong and resilient. It requires good self-esteem, good communication and trust within the couple and the family.

Those who leave, those who stay.

And then, there are those who leave and those who stay…. These are the parents, the friends, with whom it will be necessary to find a new mode of communication and mutual support in the event of difficulty. Indeed, it is difficult not to feel a certain guilt in the distance. Those who stay are also the elders of the siblings when they have to stay in their teenage years for higher education. Finally, it is sometimes the spouses, even if this geographical celibacy is generally limited in time. Indeed, the spouse who follows must leave his / her job, find another one, manage a move, not to mention that expatriation does not always coincide with the school calendar. Here again, these are risks of tension, and an emotional challenge for family members who do not experience this transition in the same way, with the same ease and at the same speed. Expatriation often strengthens family ties, but unfortunately it can weaken them.

Expatriation. Change and mourning of life as it was.

Agreed or not, this expatriation is part of a cycle of change where you will have to mourn life as it was, life elsewhere. In fact, it is normal to feel homesick at some point, or at times. The culture shock is even stronger as the country where the expats land is far from their “map of the world “, their way of reading and understanding the world around them.

Obviously, for many, things evolve easily and moments of doubt or difficulty are fleeting. The learning zone the new expat has immersed himself in becomes his new comfort zone. A new bubble forms. The new expats realize that home is where they live. Eventually, after this more or less difficult phase, expatriation is a rewarding experience, an opening to the world.

Shift and new map of the world.

After a period of time, the expatriate feels a gap with “those who remained”. He does not always understand his previous environment, and assesses according to his new map of the world.

This discrepancy becomes all the more glaring the day the “return” is considered, planned or imposed. Because this “return” is experienced as another departure, another bursting of the bubble that the expatriate has created for himself over time. Another change, another mourning where it is not uncommon to experience homesickness (about the adopted place of residence). Searching for work, schools, apartment, admin handling … In short, returning to another space-time where it is not easy to readjust. Sometimes the children know little about their country of origin. This gap can generate the feeling of being misunderstood, a certain loneliness….

Impatriation, a new beginning.

If impatriation seems simpler, it is trickier than it seems because it is still leaving a comfort zone. It would be wiser if it was prepared and seen as a new expatriation, a new beginning. Moreover, it is not uncommon for the return to be only temporary, as the gap gives rise to desire for elsewhere.

Expatriation or impatriation are like all cycles of change, sources of identity questions (To which group / country / environment do I belong? Who am I? Who have I become?). It is not uncommon for expats to feel at ease in community: they understand each other’s challenges.

Coaching

So how do you avoid its pitfalls? Many international groups where geographic mobility is essential, call on coaches to support their executive’s phases of transition which, if poorly managed, can have a negative impact on their performance. Indeed, it is difficult to compartmentalize the personal and professional spheres. When change brings out strong negative emotions, it is difficult to perform.

The coach can accompany the change, help future expatriates or impatriates to find how to live these transitions. A real investment for the well-being and performance of the expatriate and his family, coaching supports and facilitates adaptation.

These issues are familiar to me and I will be delighted to take this part of the road with you. Contact me and let’s talk about it face to face.

Cristina, 19th of November 2020